i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
