Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
