as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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