we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
