So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
