did you get engaged???
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize