how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
