that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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