The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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