im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
