Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
