I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
