Nicole vs. Life
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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