I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Ladies don't puke and tell
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
