just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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