i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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