I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
