just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
