Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize