He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
