He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
