5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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