oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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