We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
