Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Less talking, more tequila
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
