this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
