Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize