i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
