apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
