Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize