MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize