I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
