She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize