shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize