I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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