It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
