I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
there is glitter all over my balls
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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