Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
