Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize