just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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