There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
