worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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