okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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