oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
