Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
