Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
