My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize