just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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