All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
