my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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