Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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