K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize