You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
