i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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