i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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