@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
