It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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